I created a separate blog that I linked to my “Tidbits” page so that I can quickly and easily update the news without having to upload the whole darn page everytime. I have to say that I’m feeling rather smug about getting the little beast to work.

I’m almost tempted to rework the guestbook now that I’m on a roll. But that will have to wait until later. I’m still waiting for the super coding genius to come along and offer me a super fabulous template for free.

Today, I was successful. Not only was I victorious over the html beast, but I also started cleaning my office. After I posted the “after the storm” picture, I realized just how bad the room was. It’s much much better now, but still less than perfect.

Yes, today I was successful. I really should try to say that to myself everyday.

This is the storm that blew through the area yesterday.

And this is what my office/studio looks like today.

Surely it is not a coincidence! The storm is responsible for the mess in my office/studio. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

I added a guestbook to my blog here. I don’t really love it, but it’ll do for now. It doesn’t really match the blog or the site, but this little novice is feeling a bit burned out on all this html and script stuff. And try as I may to find a really good guestbook template out there, I found none that met my demands.

Anyway, it’s up. So, if you want to sign it just to let me know you’ve visited my blog, that’d be great. And if you’re a like-minded person who wants to share a thought or two, that’s even better. And if you’re a super coding genius who wants to design a super fabulous guestbook for me for free… I’d do a cartwheel! Which, if you know me, is not an easy thing for me to do!

Ciao, for now!

I’ve pursued a degree in art more times than I can count. I’ve tried both graphic art and fine art. I’ve studied at both the community college and the university level. Each time ends up the same way. Though my works are often highly appraised, I never believe they deserve it. I start to compare my works to the works of other students in class. The true artists. That’s where my self-defeating attitude kicks in. I know my talent isn’t good enough to earn such high grades, so I figure there can only be two possible explanations as to why my projects receive the praise that they do. It’s either a) the professor and other students feel sorry for my obvious lack of talent and want to reward me for my effort. Or it’s b) the project is really pretty good, but it was pure luck and not talent that made it good.

As I get older, I find that I feel more like it’s luck rather than pity that earns me the praise. I call it my “Fraud Complex.” That’s fraud not Freud. Basically, I feel like everyone sees one or two really great projects and thinks that I have talent, when in fact, I am only pretending to know what I’m doing. I just know that someone will eventually find out the truth and realize that I have no talent and no ability.

I discussed this fear with one of my art professors one year. He told me that many artists have an instinctive sense of composition, and that’s why they are able to produce good results with little conscious effort. It makes sense, and it helped ease my mind for the time being, but I’m not sure I completely buy it.

Whether luck or talent, I’m satisfied for the moment just to be creating art full time.

No, I’m not a poet. But I do believe in trying. I wrote this five years ago when I gave into my heart’s desire for the upteenth time. I still use it to remind myself of my dreams when I’m feeling self-doubt.

A child saw beauty and magick in all things.
One with her Imagination, she was Happy.
But as all things must grow and change, so did she.
She locked her Imagination away, as she told herself she must do.
Childhood dreams became memories. Then wishes. Then Nothing.
But her Imagination was restless, confined to a lonely prison inside her heart.
It longed to breathe again. It longed to live.
One day, it cried so loudly, the woman heard it.
Sights and sounds stirred memories of past.
She started to remember.
Her senses were awakened and the world around her changed.
She heard laughter in the water and saw shapes in the clouds.
The wind whispered secrets and the flowers smiled.
And the woman smiled.
She flung her arms out around her, spinning and twirling.
Her Imagination was once again Happy.
And she was Happy.

My creative whirlwind is losing momentum. Part of it is I’ve had so many projects going at once that as I see a project through to fruition, I feel a little emptier creatively. I think the other factor could be the weather. It’s been hot these past couple of days, and I don’t get much of anything done when it’s hot.

I’ve been procratinating about finishing my studio. It’s mostly done, and completely functional. I just haven’t decorated it yet. I have a few small collections that I’d like to display. Normally, I’d have the collections out before the room was functional, but for some reason, I just can’t get in the mood to do it. I may have to resort to using the air conditioner today for the sake of this room!

I’ve contacted four different companies about fixing my lawn. Now, I’m a do-it-yourself kinda girl, so I’m not usually afraid to tackle a project like the lawn. There is, however, one small detail that has made me afraid of working on my lawn myself. I have a sprinkler system. Yes, I know, it’s just tubing and sprinkler heads, and other little gadgets. But I’m afraid of ruining something. I figured I’d let some a professional handle that stuff, and I’d do the rest myself.

So, back to my four companies. Well, Company #1 was hired to design a complete landscape project for my entire yard, as well as give me a quote to fix the grass this year. Disappointment. I expected a professional would be able to design a unique landscape that incorporated all the elements I requested. The first plan didn’t even include all my required elements. The revision is better, but it’s still not the incredible design I wanted. I did finally get the quote for the grass too. It seemed a little high to me, so I thought I’d be a good little consumer and compare prices elsewhere.

Company #2 was a small local business that just celebrated it’s grand opening. “Wade” never bothered to return my call.

Company #3 was the company that installed my sprinklers. They have a very good reputation in the area, so I figured I’d get some great results. The representative for my area never returned my call.

Company #4 is a bit north of me, but was recommended by a friend of a friend. Actually, the physical therapist of my mom, but same difference. “Jim” came to my house, talked with me for (I’m not kidding) five minutes. He said he would call me tomorrow with an estimate. That was six days ago.

So now I’m thinking about doing the grass myself, like I should have done from the beginning. I contacted Company #1 at the end of April, so it’s not like I waited until the last minute to start this. I tried! I really did!

The moral of this story is, never trust anyone to do for you what you already know you can do yourself.

I spent the better part of yesterday preparing one of my front flower beds for planting. It’s a large bed, about the size of a bedroom. The bed was all clay, and it was about two inches below the level of the walkway. We first added coarse sand to the bed, and roto tilled it in. It took about a yard and a half before we were satisfied with the consistency. Then we added a yard of compost. That made a big difference! The soil went from clay-brown to a darker, richer dirt color. I dare say, it looked like real soil! We dumped a yard of topsoil onto that. The bed is now about four inches above the level of the walk, but I’d like to add another yard or two to elevate the side near the house a bit more.

I like big beds! Landscape design is really no different than any other kind of design. The elements are always the same. Point, line, shape, color, texture, composition, balance, space. I see too many houses with little bitty beds in front. The problem is that there are so many of these mistakes, that people don’t realize they’re making mistakes. Afterall, it’s what everyone else is doing, right?

I say, we must stand back and look at our beds! Dare to see the unbalanced landscaping! Recognize when the overall composition is missing something! Do away with straight, flat, shallow beds! Choose curving, raised, deep beds! You deserve it!

Seriously. Apply your artistic sensitivity to everything you do. It’ll make it that much better.

Later, gators!