about me

Practically imperfect in every way. Start with a lot of silliness. Mix in some insecurities and a handful of awkwardness. Add a pound of naivety, innocence, and child-like wonderings. Blend well. Half-bake and top off with a sprinkle of imagination and dollop of dreams. It’s the recipe for me!

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quote of the day

  • "Moral of the story: Do not look at the gap. The gap is the mind-killer. Remember how Wile E. Coyote never fell down until he saw the chasm? It’s just like that." --Taylor "Tei" Lindstrom, Rogue Ink

dumbass quote

  • "I think we have come to find out that the Education system, run by Liberal Hippies that really couldn't find any other job that allowed them so much time off, the ability to do drugs, and to spout their rhetoric is alive and well. It is teaching out kids things like 'Abortion is Good,' 'Government is Bad.' We have educators that, for the most part, don't teach to the subject, they teach to their beliefs. It is really sad, and even sadder when you see highly intelligent children buying into it." --Kelli

kids say...

  • Jacob: "I need to operate on my frog, but first he needs some amnesia."

copyright

Copyright © 2004-2004 Kerrie Lee. All rights reserved.

Tired of my sob story? Don’t read this entry.

October 18, 2004

I’ve mentioned a few times how I have difficulty believing in my abilities as an artist. I often wonder if people don’t take me seriously because I don’t take myself seriously, or vice versa. It’s that whole “which came first, the chicken or the egg?” thing. When I started my first business back in 1997, a friend of my mom’s was starting her own business too. My mom kept talking about Hazel and Hazel’s business and how great Hazel’s business was doing. Hazel, Hazel, Hazel. My mom spent a lot of time helping Hazel set up her office and get new clients.

When I set up my office, I did it alone. When I held my grand opening, none of my family came to offer support. I don’t expect a lot from people, so it didn’t bother me that they didn’t come. It did bother me that Hazel’s business was treated as something worthy of attention and my business was treated as another one of Kerrie’s silly little hobbies.

I talked to my mom last night and told her that my website was nearly ready. She gave me my little pat on the head and then told me about her friend Julie who took a jewelry class. Wanting to sound important, I interrupted her. “Was it a jewelry class, or a beading class? They are different.” It turns out, it was a beading class. In the class, the students learned about a new “clay” like substance that can be used to make metal beads. I was already very familiar with the “clay.” It’s called precious metal clay or PMC. My mom seemed a little surprised that I knew what it was.

At some point, the conversation turned from PMC to Julie’s friend who makes jewelry and has her own website. Imagine that. A woman who makes jewelry by hand and sells it on the internet. What a concept. I admit, I was slightly annoyed. I jumped in the conversation and tried to talk up my jewelry design and my website like it was real. She didn’t seem very impressed, but she told me she might take a look at it sometime.

Today I find myself rethinking my plans. I had intended to publish the new site tonight or tomorrow. Now I’m not so sure. I know I don’t have many designs right now. I guess part of me is embarrassed by that. It would be easier if everyone who was going to see my site and designs was a complete stranger. It’s almost as if being anonymous makes it okay to fail. That way, it’s some girl that failed. It’s not “my daughter failed” or “my wife failed” or “my sister failed.” It’s not me who failed. In truth, no one besides me would say I’ve failed. The others all expect it, so to them it’s just another thing that I tried for a while.

CATEGORY: Creativity

6 Responses to “Tired of my sob story? Don’t read this entry.”

  1. Oz Says:
    October 18th, 2004 at 1:59 pm

    That is a sad story. Now stop crying and publish the damn website! What’s the worst that can happen? You fail? According to you, no one would be surprised, so what’s the big deal? And what’s this, “I don’t have very many pieces,” stuff about? I put up my wedding portfolio with TWO weddings on it! That’s it: two! Not exactly what I would call over-whelming. So let’s say you have 10 pieces. Put them on the website, and as you have more, add to it.

    [insert whining voice] Come on, I want to see the pretty beads. Do it for me.

  2. D.T. Says:
    October 18th, 2004 at 4:29 pm

    OMG…you cant let that stop you. So what, if you only have a few pieces of jewelery? If you dont put that website up, you will totally regret it later on in life. The whole point of life is to take risks and to make mistakes. By not putting up that website, you’re telling everyone around you that they are right and that you are nothing but a failure. But if you do put it up, you have a chance to prove them wrong. And if anything, at least you tried, and that’s all you can really do. Put it up, and give it a chance, ok?

  3. Fyse Says:
    October 18th, 2004 at 7:25 pm

    Just do it. Nothing bad will happen, and perhaps something wonderful will. It’s a “win / break-even” situation, so what’s stopping you?

  4. Whimsy Chick Says:
    October 18th, 2004 at 11:03 pm

    Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I am over my moment of doubt, and you may notice a change to the site already. :)

  5. Fyse Says:
    October 20th, 2004 at 12:16 pm

    I can’t pretend to be an expert on jewelry, but it all looks great to me. Good job on the website as well, and the photos. I’m sure you’ll be the head of a sprawling, multinational jewelry empire in no time…

  6. lamoon Says:
    October 25th, 2004 at 3:31 pm

    Well, dear, I think your site is lovely. Now that I’ve gotten that sickly sweet part of my nature purged:
    Hey, chickie, the site is great, don’t sweat it! I love your stuff and you can be sure I’ll be giving a few of my presents from your selection. My site is a total work in progress, and whew is that a scary thing!!!

    Besides, the way you get the best attention is to just do a kickass job and then let people notice on their own eventually. Sometimes mothers are blinded by nearness…

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about this blog

It’s the spark of an idea that hits me unexpectedly. It’s the silly wonderings I have after a whirlwind of thoughts. It’s about creativity, inspiration, and imagination. But sometimes, it’s just about eating noodles.

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