about me
Practically imperfect in every way. Start with a lot of silliness. Mix in some insecurities and a handful of awkwardness. Add a pound of naivety, innocence, and child-like wonderings. Blend well. Half-bake and top off with a sprinkle of imagination and dollop of dreams. It’s the recipe for me!
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quote of the day
- "Moral of the story: Do not look at the gap. The gap is the mind-killer. Remember how Wile E. Coyote never fell down until he saw the chasm? It’s just like that." --Taylor "Tei" Lindstrom, Rogue Ink
dumbass quote
- "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps. And I believe that our education like, such as South Africa, and, the Iraq, everywhere like such as. And I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children." --Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen 2007
kids say...
- Jacob: "I need to operate on my frog, but first he needs some amnesia."
copyright
Copyright © 2004-2004 Kerrie Lee. All rights reserved.
Donuts are a Girl’s Best Friend
I’ve found myself overly concerned with food lately. I wouldn’t say it has become a problem, but I can see how it has the potential to become a problem. I’ve always had a very healthy relationship with food and with my body. My theory has always been eat what you like and stay active. By “eat what you like” I don’t mean be disgusting and pig out to your heart’s content. What I really mean is that all foods are good in moderation. I dislike low-fat, low-carb, low-sugar foods. I don’t add salt or sugar or butter to anything, mostly because I’m lazy. But if something has salt or sugar or fat in it, pass it this way! I eat real eggs. I like salt on my french fries. I use real mayo in my egg salad. I like fat in my sour cream. You get the idea.
This way of thinking has always worked out well for me. Before I had children, I maintained a very healthy weight. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy and it took nearly 6 years to return to a size that was more normal for me, but it did happen.
A few weeks ago, a thought entered my mind that’s never been there before. I had eaten too much of something and felt extreme guilt about it. It was donuts. I ate two donuts. It’s not the first time I’ve overindulged in donuts, but it’s the first time I felt guilt about it. That’s when the thought hit me. I thought I could just go to the bathroom and make myself vomit to rid my body of the donuts. As soon as the thought was there, it shocked me. I realized that this must be how it starts. It, of course being bulimia. Recognizing this as a warning, I noted that I should be more careful about what I ate to prevent the feeling of guilt again.
Over the next few weeks, things were okay. I had a few times when I ate something that brought those guilty feelings, but mostly I was good. Until last Saturday. Rob made brownies and I ate far too many. The guilt was awful. I ate over half a batch of brownies while watching, ironically, the America’s Next Top Model marathon. I told myself again that I needed to learn better self-control
Fast forward to last night. One of my boys is the “One of a Kind” student in his class this week. That means he gets to be the special helper all week long. I get to read a story to the class, and he gets to bring everyone a treat. (Though, it seems to me, if he is the special person, they should all be bringing him a treat!) So last night I made cupcakes. There are 29 kids in his class, and one box makes 24 cupcakes. (You didn’t think I was making cupcakes from scratch, did you???) So I got two boxes. That was my first mistake. I knew there would be over a dozen more cupcakes than I needed, so I knew I could sneak one for myself. Only, it wasn’t one. I had two. An hour later, I had another one. When the boys got home, I let them each have one, and I had two more. By this point the guilt was pretty bad. I ended up going to bed very early last night, as I’ve found myself doing a lot over the past couple of months. I’ve experienced depression once before, and there are a lot of other little things going on that seem to indicate that I’m experiencing it again. This whole problem with food is completely new to me though, and I’m not really sure what to make of it. Part of my problem is, obviously, a lack of self-control. The other part is the guilt I feel when I lose control. And that’s really the root of the problem, isn’t it? Control and guilt.
I need to take cupcakes to the school now, so I guess it’s something I can think about later.
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about this blog
It’s the spark of an idea that hits me unexpectedly. It’s the silly wonderings I have after a whirlwind of thoughts. It’s about creativity, inspiration, and imagination. But sometimes, it’s just about eating noodles.
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