about me

Practically imperfect in every way. Start with a lot of silliness. Mix in some insecurities and a handful of awkwardness. Add a pound of naivety, innocence, and child-like wonderings. Blend well. Half-bake and top off with a sprinkle of imagination and dollop of dreams. It’s the recipe for me!

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quote of the day

  • "Moral of the story: Do not look at the gap. The gap is the mind-killer. Remember how Wile E. Coyote never fell down until he saw the chasm? It’s just like that." --Taylor "Tei" Lindstrom, Rogue Ink

dumbass quote

  • "I think we have come to find out that the Education system, run by Liberal Hippies that really couldn't find any other job that allowed them so much time off, the ability to do drugs, and to spout their rhetoric is alive and well. It is teaching out kids things like 'Abortion is Good,' 'Government is Bad.' We have educators that, for the most part, don't teach to the subject, they teach to their beliefs. It is really sad, and even sadder when you see highly intelligent children buying into it." --Kelli

kids say...

  • Jacob: "I need to operate on my frog, but first he needs some amnesia."

copyright

Copyright © 2004-2005 Kerrie Lee. All rights reserved.

There Is No Hidden Meaning!

February 25, 2005

I recently got an email from a guy who ended our friendship a couple years ago. If you asked what ended our friendship, he would say that I said some very hurtful things. I would say that he looked for hidden meanings in everything I said, and found what he wanted to find. No matter how hard I tried to explain that there were no hidden meanings behind my words, and no matter how hard I tried to edit my emails so he couldn’t find hidden meanings there, he insisted that my words were intentionally cruel and he was unwilling to keep me as a friend.

And now I have this friendly email from him. I’d like to respond in an equally friendly way. I’m wondering though, if I’m better off saying nothing and giving the impression that I don’t care, or if I should respond and hope that he won’t try to find hidden meanings in my words again. Maybe my response could start with a disclaimer, “Everything you are about to read here should be taken at face value. Any hidden meanings found within are purely a creation of your imagination.”

Maybe I have communication problems. One of the women who volunteers with me tends to take some of my emails very personally. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve asked friends to read my emails before I sent them to make sure there was nothing that could offend her. It’s recently gotten so bad that I send my thoughts directly to other people in hopes they’ll agree with me and disguise my thoughts as their own when they’re presented to her. I know I probably I worry too much about these things.

So, what do you think I should do about this friendly email? This guy is a real pro at finding hidden meanings that don’t exist. I could say, “It sounds like everything is going really well for you.” He would read that as, “It sounds like everything is going really well for you, but is it really?” Something as simple as “Good luck!” would be read as “Good luck. You’ll need it.” See what I mean? What would you do?

CATEGORY: Uncategorized

9 Responses to “There Is No Hidden Meaning!”

  1. Janet Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 12:11 pm

    I would ask myself if I want to be back in touch with this person or not. If he updated you on his life and now you would like to update him in return, I don’t see anything wrong with that. It sounds like he was the one who had a problem with you, not the other way around. Did he bring this up at all? Maybe he’s realized he overreacted and he’s trying to ease his way into mending fences.

    Of course, you could always go for door #2 and not go down that road again. But by responding, even if he starts to respond in the same way, what have you got to lose?

    Ultimately, the choice is yours.

  2. Oz Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 2:07 pm

    From what you’ve written, it sounds like he’s more trouble than he’s worth. Were there positives in this relationship that make you think risking a repetition of the past worth your effort?

    I know it’s really hard for me to ignore someone who wants to be my friend. I’m sort of in…something….of a similar situation with an (ex?) friend of mine. I had let go of the friendship, and then he calls me out of the blue after months of no contact. I stood, staring at the answering machine, wondering if I should answer it or let it go. I ended up answering it. It remains to be seen if that was the right decision.

  3. Fyse Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 4:18 pm

    I assume there must have been positives in the friendship, otherwise you wouldn’t even be considering replying. Is this the guy you mentioned previously, who was a friend through Dragon’s Gate? (Apologies if I’m remembering incorrectly.)

    I’d say if you want to be back in touch with him, then go for it. He contacted you, after all…

  4. D.T. Says:
    February 25th, 2005 at 9:25 pm

    I wouldnt reply. Obviously, your friend has some sort of issues and I dont think it’s a wise choice to start a relationship with him again. Even though you may miss him and all, it’s not worth it. Believe me…I know. There’s some ex-friends that I would love to call, but I know I’m just setting myself up for hurt, that I dont need.

    But in the end, its your call. Just…I hope you make a good one.

  5. Whimsy Chick Says:
    February 27th, 2005 at 6:53 am

    Janet, he did apologize for the mean things he said.

    Oz, there were some positives in the relationship at one point.

    Nick, he was a friend from Dragon’s Gate, but I don’t remember if he’s the one I mentioned because I can’t remember talking about a DGate friend. I’ll have to search my archives to job my memory.

    D.T., I’m not sure I do miss him. That’s part of the problem. I don’t really care either way.

    I think I’m going respond to the email. I don’t want to renew our friendship, but maybe we can end our friendship on better terms than we did the first time.

  6. Janet Says:
    March 2nd, 2005 at 10:47 pm

    Hey there, thanks for the suggestion. Believe it or not, I already have Space Suitcase blogrolled, I just had her under Random Thoughts and Observations bc I think that was the original site name some time ago. I updated it though after you brought it to my attention, so all was not lost!

    Feel free to make more suggestions though.:)

  7. SpaceCase Says:
    March 7th, 2005 at 9:08 pm

    Kerrie! I apologize for hijacking your comments, but I wanted to say thank you and I couldn’t find your e-mail address. If you don’t mind, I’d like to post a public thank you on my site tomorrow, so stay tuned.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you - I read your blog a lot, even if I don’t always comment. Oh, did I remember to say thank you? :)

  8. The Sister Says:
    March 8th, 2005 at 1:59 pm

    People come and go out of our lives all the time. If you don’t miss this person. Don’t respond. People don’t really change much. I am sure you both learned from eachother and now it is time to learn from others. Kathi would be my best example. Rumor has it she is dating Carl now. I always thought something was going on.

  9. Janet Says:
    March 8th, 2005 at 4:58 pm

    So when do we get to hear what you did about this friend of yours?

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about this blog

It’s the spark of an idea that hits me unexpectedly. It’s the silly wonderings I have after a whirlwind of thoughts. It’s about creativity, inspiration, and imagination. But sometimes, it’s just about eating noodles.

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