The boys’ birthday is coming up in just a couple weeks, so we took them to Toys R Us to make a list of things for the grandparents. They found some pogo sticks and decided to try them out in the store, but they weren’t able to coordinate hopping up on them without help. Being the genius that I am, I decided I would show them how it was done. Half a hop is all it took to send me flying backwards into the shelves of skateboards. Luckily, nothing came crashing down on my head. All the bruises are in places that won’t show until swim suit season.

The Space Suitcase has tagged me for a meme. The rules are: choose five from the list and write a description, then add one to the list and pass it along. (I’ll get you back, Ms. Case!)

If I could be a scientist . . .

If I could be a farmer . . . I would be a sod farmer. I’d still have a nice big chicken coop for myself, and a bunch of ducks. I might even have a goat or two. Oh, and horses. Gotta have horses. But I’d make my living off of sod.

If I could be a musician . . . I would play all kinds of instruments, like piano, drums, cello, harp, hammered dulcimer, and the glass harmonica. I’d probably be a starving musician, but darn it, I would BE a musician.

If I could be a doctor . . .
If I could be a painter . . .
If I could be a gardener . . .
If I could be a missionary . . .
If I could be a chef . . .
If I could be an architect . . .
If I could be a linguist . . .
If I could be a psychologist . . .
If I could be a librarian . . .
If I could be an athlete . . .
If I could be a lawyer . . .

If I could be an inn-keeper . . . I would run a bed and breakfast inn. I’d raise my own chickens and serve fresh eggs for breakfast every morning. I’d have a big old house overlooking a lake. The property would boast some of the prettiest gardens in the area, and be filled with all my favorite flowers.

If I could be a professor . . .
If I could be a writer . . .
If I could be a llama-rider . . .

If I could be a bonnie pirate . . . I’d say things like “argh!” and call all my friends “matey.” I’d have either one eye, one leg, or one arm, and I’d be called either One-Eyed Bonnie, Lefty, or Peg-Leg Peggy. But despite my handicap, I would still be bonnie.

If I could be an astronaut . . .

If I could be a world famous blogger . . . I’d be Heather B. Armstrong of Dooce fame, of course.

If I could be a justice on any one court in the world . . .
If I could be married to any current famous political figure . . .
If I could be a show dog owner…

If I could be a fictional character… (this is the one I added)

Oz and Nick, you’re it!

I don’t know how I ever used to work full time. I’ve either gotten old or lazy (or both!) because working part time and going to school part time is KILLING ME. Seriously, I don’t know how I used to do it before kids.

I have class three nights a week for four hours each night, and I work before class on those same days plus some Saturdays. That still gives me three days off, plus some Saturdays. On paper, it looks like a piece of cake. So why is this so hard?

First of all, my house. It’s a mess. I have a basket of clay covered pants that’s not washing itself. Then there’s my yard project that’s not getting done. The five yards of gravel sitting in my driveway isn’t moving itself. I kept the boys home from school AGAIN today, just because I miss them so much. Yeah, that’s not good.

The dogs aren’t getting enough exercise. I’m not getting enough exercise. I’m too exhausted on my days off to do much of anything. And let’s not even get into how exhaustion factors into the whole baby-making thing.

Working will get easier, right? I’m just out of practice. Right???

My blog readers generally belong to one of two groups. You’re either one of my dorky friends who went to see the new Star Wars movie already, or you’re one of those who doesn’t understand those dorky people who went to see the new Star Wars movie already. (Or I guess there is also a third and forth category of readers who aren’t necessarily my friends who are dorky Star Wars fans, or one of my friends who isn’t a Star Wars dork. But I’m just confusing myself now!)

I liked the movie. I felt a little disappointment during some of it though. The short version goes something like this.

Anakin was not cast well for any of the first three. He can be a sweet little boy when he’s young, but you have to let me see that he has the potential to become something very different someday. I didn’t see that in SW1. And while Hayden is nice looking, I’m still not convinced he was the right choice for the role.

The relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan always felt strained. I didn’t feel they trusted each other. If that was your intention, I disagree with it. The relationship between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon in SW1 was much better, even though you didn’t keep them together long.

I like to see what’s happening during the light saber duels. If you put everyone in the dark, I can’t see it well. I know you need to disguise the fact that the old guys are using stunt doubles, but I don’t enjoy watching it.

I like CGI. I really do. But I also like to see real people acting. I miss the extras shuffling around as Storm Troopers. You can use CGI, just don’t overdo it, okay?

I like movies with characters I like. Really, the most important thing to me in a movie is character development. It’s okay if you don’t write dialogue well, but you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help. Or if you really like writing your own dialogue, please make me love your characters. Please? And I mean the human characters. I shouldn’t only love the little blue droid.

On Wednesday evening, while we were waiting for my dad to come stay with the boys so we could go see the midnight showing of Star Wars, we watched the final episode of “America’s Next Top Model.” I have to admit, ANTM is one of my guilty pleasures. I LOVE that show. I’m not generally a fan of reality television, or television in general, for that matter. But I’m hooked on ANTM.

Anyway, I’ve been rooting for Naima to win since day one. Naima made the final two, and when they announced that she was the winner… I jumped up off the couch arm so fast that I pulled a muscle in my thigh. I cheered, I applauded, but I suffered for it. How the hell do you pull a thigh muscle???

(My take on Star Wars requires its own separate entry. Coming soon!)

Several months ago, my sister and I talked about redesigning the human body. Specifically, we discussed making our arms more convenient. Our main concern was that the arm is always in the way while trying to sleep on our sides. Think about it. Where are you supposed to put your arm if you want to be comfortable?

Her solution? The Removable Arm. To remove your arm, you would swing it around and around several times to unscrew it. While I agreed that the concept was good, I argued that there was one design flaw. Imagine trying to unscrew your arm in a very tight space. It just wouldn’t work. What if you’re in bed, say, reading or something, and you want to remove your arm? You’d have to sit up just to get enough space to rotate your arm around. Or imagine those exercises where you rotate your arms over your head. Oops! Your arm just fell off!

I offered my suggestion to improve The Removable Arm. My idea is a nut and bolt system. The nut would attach to the bolt in a recessed area in your shoulder. To remove the arm, you simply reach around with the opposite hand and unscrew the bolt. Sister didn’t like the idea of requiring users to implement their other hand. She felt it was inconvenient. She also thought the bolt would be unsightly, so I suggested a cover to hide the nut and bolt mechanism. She’s still not sold on my improvement.

We really need to resolve this before we file for the patent.

After a very long night on Wednesday, we finally wrapped up filming. I’m glad it’s over. You may recall that the last two filming sessions were pretty much wasted time for me. For those who don’t remember, over the course of ten hours, I was only able to film one tiny little scene. The reason for the wasted time was that the guy who plays Alex didn’t show up for filming. And nearly all my remaining scenes were with him.

When I got a call from my director about Wednesday night, I asked if Alex would be there. She told me that he would be late, but he would definitely be there. I showed up at 9:00 p.m. as scheduled. I had one scene which took 15 minutes. At 1:30 a.m., Alex showed up. Right, four and a half hours after I got there. Whatever.

My director had decided we were going to stay all night until the film was finished. (Several of us had been suggesting all-nighters during the previous sessions, but for whatever reason, she didn’t want to do it until now.) At 1:30, she filmed Alex’s remaining scenes with the rest of the cast, and he was free to go at 2:30. In fact, everyone besides me was free to go at 2:30. I still had one final chase scene to shoot alone.

Call me unreasonable, but it seems to me that once we filmed the group shots with Alex, we should have finished up my chase scene and let me go home and let Alex film his individual scenes after since I HAD BEEN THERE SINCE 9:00 P.M.

Anyway, it’s done. The final product is going to look very bad for several reasons. (Last minute script rewrites, scenes that won’t make sense. and Alex suddenly wearing a baseball cap to hide the fact that he got a major haircut. Yes, baseball cap. Don’t get me started.)

BUT IT’S DONE.

My sister loves the line I added to my blog description that reads, “But sometimes, it’s just about eating noodles.” I’ve already admitted I stole that phrase from the always witty Janet. But my sister interprets it a bit differently from the way it was originally written. Janet explained it as the mundane things people write about in their blogs when they have nothing better to blog about. “Today, I ate noodles for lunch. The end.” Realizing that a lot of my entries were about the mundane, I added the line about noodles in my blog description.

Sister, however, took the noodles idea to mean that I’d be blogging about all the silly thoughts that bounce around in my head that are, in her opinion, blog-worthy. So, at her request, (and at the risk of scaring away what few friends I have) I’ll be adding her recipe for noodles to my blog soon.

My ceramics class started last week. So far the only thing I’ve accomplished is frustration. Our first project is a soup tureen, which is pretty neat, if I could make it work the way I want. See, this class is a throwing class, and I have ZERO experience throwing on a wheel. The soup tureen includes the bowl, the lid, a tray and a ladle. Sounds like four parts, right? Wrong. The bowl itself includes a bottom, sides, feet and handles. The lid is three pieces. The tray, between two and four. The ladle, at least two. The whole thing is due on Thursday. No pressure…

My director called yesterday and asked if I could film again on Wednesday night. Let’s see. I have class on campus on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights for four hours. She wants me to come on Wednesday night for probably, oh I don’t know, six or eight hours. Seriously, I’m getting sick of this. She HOPES to finish filming on Wednesday. Yeah, don’t we all. The problem is that the guy who plays Alex may or may not be there. And all but one of my remaining scenes are with him. Hmm… yeah. Call me crazy, but I don’t see us finishing up on Wednesday. But let’s not dwell on that.

Anyway, I’m off to my four hour ceramics class four hours before everyone else so I can try to catch up on this soup tureen. If I come back cranky after eight hours of throwing, you’ll forgive me, right?

Update: I’m not cranky! I ended up throwing forms for seven hours and I even had a little bit of success. My soup tureen has a bottom and sides, making it at least a little bit functional.

I had an interview for a position as a studio assistant yesterday. The woman was freakishly introverted. Why are so many successfully self-employed people socially awkward? She’s not the first person I’ve met who fits that description, and I’m sure she won’t be the last.

The freakishly introverted woman works mostly in metal. She makes those metal thingies with little glass bits that look great in a garden or on a patio. I was disappointed to learn that she didn’t make everything herself though. One of the responsibilities of her assistant would be to glue magnets on the backs of pre-fabricated metal pieces. I was uncomfortable with the idea of her selling work that was not truely her own creation.

Part of the reason my jewelry ideas have stalled is because I don’t feel original enough. I made a lot of new pieces this past weekend, but I’m not happy with them. They’re just not special enough. If it’s easy for me to make something, why would anyone buy it when they can just as easily make it themselves? But when I look around me at the CRAP some people are making and SELLING, I wonder if I’m overestimating the individual person’s willingness to make things themselves. I’ve always been a do-it-yourself girl. The process is just as important as the product. Sometimes, its more important than the product. I guess that’s why it’s hard for me to accept that some people don’t want to learn to make things themselves.

I think I need to compromise with myself. I’m not willing to budge on things like craftmanship and original designs. I am willing to forgive myself if my ideas are not totally unique or if the process is easy. I’m working on a new plan for myself. Not a business plan exactly, but an outline of my goals for my “business.” That list may even include plans for me to take the quotes off the word “business” eventually! Right now I’m just going to forgive myself for writing this entry in the same messy way my brain thinks things through.