about me

Practically imperfect in every way. Start with a lot of silliness. Mix in some insecurities and a handful of awkwardness. Add a pound of naivety, innocence, and child-like wonderings. Blend well. Half-bake and top off with a sprinkle of imagination and dollop of dreams. It’s the recipe for me!

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quote of the day

  • "Moral of the story: Do not look at the gap. The gap is the mind-killer. Remember how Wile E. Coyote never fell down until he saw the chasm? It’s just like that." --Taylor "Tei" Lindstrom, Rogue Ink

dumbass quote

  • "I think we have come to find out that the Education system, run by Liberal Hippies that really couldn't find any other job that allowed them so much time off, the ability to do drugs, and to spout their rhetoric is alive and well. It is teaching out kids things like 'Abortion is Good,' 'Government is Bad.' We have educators that, for the most part, don't teach to the subject, they teach to their beliefs. It is really sad, and even sadder when you see highly intelligent children buying into it." --Kelli

kids say...

  • Jacob: "I need to operate on my frog, but first he needs some amnesia."

copyright

Copyright © 2004-2005 Kerrie Lee. All rights reserved.

She’s a bit of a flake, but she’s cool. Does that make her a snowflake?

September 22, 2005

Drawing is very difficult for me. It’s difficult and I have a lot of anxiety and insecurities about it, but I want very badly to learn to draw with ease.

My first large drawing was an 18×24 still life rendered in pencil. During the class period, my professor walked around the room to look at everyone’s progress. For some reason though, she never managed to get to my side of the room, or more precisely, me. She never notices me and she always forgets my name. (I’m not used to professors NOT knowing my name. I talk loudly, I participate a ton, and I’m an A student. I think my anxiety about this class has hidden some of my natural “notice me!” tendencies.)

On Tuesday, we had our first class critique. We were each given a number which we tacked to our unfinished drawings as they were hung across the wall of the room. There were five or six drawings before mine. Each was given a fair amount of time, and each was given some useful feedback. When she got to the drawing just before mine, she pointed out a blank area which she called “dead space.” Then she went back to some of the previous drawings to show the dead space in those drawings too. Then she skipped ahead to my piece, pointed out the dead space, and moved on. Moved. On. I didn’t get the useful feedback I needed. So not only was she having a hard time noticing me, but now she was having a hard time noticing my drawing. (Okay, yes, maybe I’m taking this a little too personally, but my confidence level in this class is already very low!)

Today, she handed back a written assignment we were given on the first day of class. She told us that we did as well as she expected. That meant that 80% of us had to redo the assignment. There are only about 20 people in the class, so, doing the math, only four people wrote the paper correctly. I might not draw well, but you can bet I was one of those four. :) I think it was this paper that finally got me some attention. She learned my name!

After the papers were handed back, she explained our next assignment. It’s a self-portrait using a curved reflective object of our choosing. We’ve also been assigned a small ink drawing in our sketch book. I worked on the self-portrait for a bit before getting completely frustrated with it and switched over to my sketch book. My first attempt in the sketch book didn’t go well, so I carefully cut the page out with my Xacto knife and started on a clean page. The purpose of this sketch book is to help us get over our fear of drawing by just doodling constantly. But so strong is my fear of drawing that I couldn’t even let myself doodle. A few moments into my second attempt, I was ready to scrap that one too. Unfortunately, I noticed her sort of hovering around my table, so I tried to look like I was thinking. But she called me out on it.

“How’s it going, Kerrie?” (She really knew my name now!)
“Uh… is it cheating if I don’t like what I’ve drawn and I use my Xacto to cut out the page and start over?”
“Well, yeah, but I wouldn’t know if you did it. The idea is to get loose and just draw. I’m not grading quality. I’m grading how much you do.”
(I’m starting to feel a little better here, so I ask her to take a look at my still life drawing. She must have sensed my insecurity because she said…)
“This part here is really very good. This part of the background isn’t bad, but it looks a little rushed. But this front is really beautiful. Let me show you some things you can try to improve the background.”

Beautiful! She called part of my drawing BEAUTIFUL. I mean, I know it’s not really “beautiful”, but maybe… it was pretty good. And for someone of my skill/talent level, maybe it really WAS beautiful. Either way, she did me a HUGE favor by telling me something positive.

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One Response to “She’s a bit of a flake, but she’s cool. Does that make her a snowflake?”

  1. The Sister Says:
    October 7th, 2005 at 1:02 pm

    She sounds like an actual teacher. I am glad you finally got the attention you craved.

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about this blog

It’s the spark of an idea that hits me unexpectedly. It’s the silly wonderings I have after a whirlwind of thoughts. It’s about creativity, inspiration, and imagination. But sometimes, it’s just about eating noodles.

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