Today, I made the decision to send the boys back to their charter school. It’s a decision I’ve been weighing since before Halloween. My philosophies haven’t changed, and I still believe homeschooling may be the best option for them. However, I’ve started to question whether or not homeschooling is the best option for me or for our family.

Being employed at their school was one of the few social activities I had. I feel like being at home all the time is sapping my brain. Plus, I really enjoyed being around like-minded people.

I already know what I’ll miss about homeschooling, but right now this school will provide a good balance for us all. I don’t quit. I simply change my mind a lot. A LOT. For now, this is the best option for us.

The boys have been quarreling excessively these past few weeks, so I’ve been looking for a new approach to getting them to cooperate more. My solution was to take the A Complaint Free World idea and make it more relevant to our family life.

The boys have behavior bracelets they wear on their left wrist. The goal is to keep it there for 21 consecutive days. If they misbehave, they move the bracelet to their right wrist and begin back at Day One. At the end of 21 days, I’m going to let them have a reward.

They’ve been perfectly behaved the entire day. I don’t know if the idea will continue to work, but I’m hopeful.

The boys started school today with a lot of enthusiasm. They were up and dressed before I was fully awake. I have more structured plans for this year than I did last year, but we’re still pretty relaxed. If pressed for an answer, I guess I might label our current attempt as “supplemented unschooling” or something along those lines. I intend to include some formal lessons, as well as some outside activities as part of their learning this year.

Our families have been mixed in their support for our decision to homeschool. My sister and my mom are cautiously supportive (I think they’d like to see us use more curriculum), while my dad and my MIL are kind enough to keep their disapproval away from my ears. Rob is sort of indifferent about homeschooling, but completely supportive about my decision. He’s confident that I will always do what I feel is best for our boys, whether I decide to homeschool or send them back to the public schools.

I took the boys to our local teacher supply store yesterday for a few new “school” supplies. Jacob asked for a magnifying glass, and Brendan asked for a miniature globe. I ended up buying the mini globe and a magnifying glass for each of them, you know, so they can read the words on the very small globe.

When we got home, I put all of their new supplies in our school bucket. But somehow, the globe keeps finding it’s way out of the bucket. Brendan has been carrying that thing around like it’s his new favorite toy. In fact, when we went to see a movie last night, Brendan couldn’t find his GameBoy for the car ride, so he brought the globe instead. I jokingly asked if he wanted to sleep with the globe last night. When he paused to consider it, I think he almost said, “yes”.

A solicitor came to my house early this morning to try to sell me a set of study guides. I was a little annoyed because 1) he came before 9:00 a.m. and 2) I don’t like solicitors coming to my home. Because he was selling study guides, his first questions were naturally about my boys’ school. I told him we homeschooled. He wanted to know why.

The questions are always exactly the same. And I should be able to answer those questions by now, but I can’t. Why do you homeschool? Do you use a curriculum? How are they doing? What are they learning? Will they ever return to school?

I’m always caught off guard when someone asks me why I homeschool. My first response usually expresses our negative experience within our local school district, but the reality is that our experience with the schools here is one of the less significant reasons why we’re homeschooling right now. Afterall, my disappointment with the public schools was remedied when I enrolled the boys in the charter school.

I know why we homeschool, but I’ve never found a good way to articulate my reasons without it turning into a homeschooling discussion. Sometimes, I don’t want to have a homeschooling discussion. Also, part of me feels like I shouldn’t have to answer those questions. What I need is a good solid answer that briefly explains my reasons and politely suggests that I don’t really want to discuss it further. That’s not to say I won’t share my reasons with people who are genuinely interested, but t’s not really the type of thing I enjoy discussing at length with people who are just curious.

Why do I homeschool? My children are very important to me, and their education is a job I won’t lightly hand over to somebody else.

It’s a true statement that answers the question, but it comes off a little reproachful, don’t you think?

Let’s talk about child abuse, shall we? One of my favorite homeschooling blogs I read regularly featured a story about a woman who was considering reporting a family to social services for the way they homeschool. She believes “this is a form of child abuse.”

If someone disagrees with the way I homeschool my kids and believes it is a form of child abuse, I suggest there are numerous other things that should be examined for child abuse. (I want to be very clear. This list is for the sake of argument only and should not be taken as my definition of child abuse.)

Child Abuse?
- Soda pop.
- Trans fat.
- White flour and sugar.
- Fast food.
- Too much television.
- Living in an unsafe city.
- Two-income families.
- Divorce and single parenting.
- Certain religious beliefs.
- Owning a gun.
- Second hand smoke.
- Daycare.
- Infant formula.
- Fertility treatments.
- The Ferber method.
- Sun exposure.

Ridiculous, isn’t it?

My decision to homeschool my kids was not made for my benefit. It is neither financially beneficial nor convenient for our family. We sacrifice many luxuries for the benefit of our kids. We do what we do because we genuinely believe we are giving them the highest quality education possible. How is that child abuse?

My list, however, is filled with choices parents make that are not made for the sole benefit of their kids. If my right to educate my kids the way I feel is best is being called into question, perhaps some of your parenting choices will be questioned next.

(The original article was from the “Dear Ellie” section of the Chicago Sun-Times.)

Rob and I watched the movie “Accepted” last night, and I couldn’t help but notice it had a very unschooling feel to it. One of my favorite scenes is when a former college professor is impersonating the dean of a nonexistant college as he tries to explain his philosophy about our country’s education system to some parents. He explains that kids only go to college for one reason: to get an entry level job paying a good salary. The former professor meant that as a negative thing, but the parents thought it was a worthwhile pursuit. It was the parents perspective that made me understand why so many people don’t understand our approach to homeschooling/unschooling.

My boys don’t read at their “level” yet, but I’m not too concerned. I know they’ll read when they’re ready to read. When the boys were four years old, they got their first real bicycles with training wheels. Our neighbor’s daughter (also four years old) got her bike the same year. The mom had her daughter out on her bike practicing without training wheels every day. Before she turned five, she was zooming around the neighborhood on two wheels. My boys, however, were allowed to learn to ride their bikes when they were ready. It wasn’t until just after their eighth birthday that they decided to ride without the training wheels. Overnight, they were zooming around the neighborhood on two wheels. Today, there is no difference between their skills on a bike and the skills of the girl who learned early.

Many people are hung up on the idea that a good education requires learning a specified list of things within a specified amount of time. We marvel at kids who can name all the state capitals at an early age, and we laugh at adults who can’t name our first President. In eighth grade, I was required to memorize the periodic table. I haven’t once used this information beyond eighth grade. I don’t feel my child’s education should force him to acquire skills that have no use to him beyond becoming a parlor trick or a Jeopardy contestant.

Thanks to a helpful suggestion from Lara, I am participating in the Carnival of Homeschooling this week. This is my first exposure to blog carnivals, and I’m a little surprised I haven’t discovered them sooner.

The carnival is a single blog entry that pulls together links to other blogs entries and articles about homeschooling. It’s an interesting way of exposing readers to a lot of different resources for a topic in one place.

Yesterday was my first day back to Tae Kwon Do since I made the decision to homeschool the boys. Not surprisingly, a few of the moms were interested to know why I decided to homeschool. It wasn’t the first time I was unable to give them The Answer because there is no simple answer. Rather, it’s a decision that I’ve come to over the last several years.

When I moved the boys to a charter school for second grade, I believed it had solved all the problems I had with the public school. And for the most part, it did. Their peer groups included kids from a range of ages, rather than one age per grade. The student to teacher ratio was capped at 20:1, with the average being 18:1. Teachers taught in pairs, and the material taught per level was consistent across that level. Aside from weekly spelling words, multiplication facts, and the occassional project, there was no homework. The school had a group of professionals called a Teacher Support Team which worked individually with kids who needed extra attention in certain areas. The school philosophy was that each child is an individual, and thus, should not be labelled for any reason. And most importantly, the school felt that teaching children was a partnership between the teaching professionals and the parents. Parents were welcomed in the classroom anytime of any day, with or without notice. The teachers built relationships with the parents and made them feel like they were part of the school. And being a parent in the school was a great experience.

So why homeschool?

1) Socialization. I want more control over which kids are influencing my kids. The accepting nature of the charter school attracted a lot of parents of kids with behavior problems. My boys will still have many opportunities to interact with people, but I will have more control.

2) Quality Time. By the time we leave school, attend afterschool activities, and get home, it’s near 7:00 p.m. I’m exhausted and they want some free time. We don’t have time for dinner, a bath, and “please read to your children every night.” Usually, it only leaves time for dinner and “go watch t.v. until bedtime.” I don’t know what I would do if they had daily homework or if I worked full time outside of the home.

3) Efficiency. The boys can learn more in less time at home. They were unable to learn their 2’s after three weeks in school. We learned them at home in 30 minutes.

4) Curriculum. I want more control over what they’re learning. Only the three R’s are essential. Everything else is optional. I want them to participate in their education.

5) Flexibility. I don’t believe that children must learn on a schedule. Learning can happen at any time of any day during any season. If we want to spend more time on a subject just for the fun of it, we can.

6) Fun. I want learning to be fun for them. Brendan’s first two years of school were not enjoyable for either of us. His learning spark isn’t as bright as it used to be. When he’s learning with me, he doesn’t feel the anxiety he felt in school. Now, he has fun.

There are other things that made the decision easy, such as the state we live in and the fact that I don’t work outside the home, but these are the main reasons.

The boys had a week off from school for Thanksgiving break. Tomorrow, their friends will be returning to school, but Brendan and Jacob will not. We made the decision in late October to try homeschooling after the break.

This decision didn’t come as abruptly as it might appear. I considered homeschooling before the boys started Kindergarten, but decided to send them to a regular school for the early years. When our school district was unable to provide them with the education I felt was entitled to them, I once again considered homeschooling, but instead found a charter school that seemed to fit our needs.

We love our charter school. This year, both Rob and I joined the Parent Council as classroom representatives so we could be more involved in the school. I also took a part time job at the school and volunteered there many hours each week. I built relationships with teachers and staff and parents. Ironically, it was my involvement in the school that led me to choose homeschooling.

Building relationships with the kids at school (many of whom have special needs) taught me that I am more capable of teaching kids than I knew. Brendan’s teachers reminded me that it is my responsibility to teach my own kids now, just as it was before they started school. And, I realized that doing my part at home is just not possible when a large part of our day is spent at school.

The more I research, the more reasons I find. And I’ll get around to talking about them eventually. But that’s where it all started—my ability, my responsibility, and my lack of time.