The boys had a week off from school for Thanksgiving break. Tomorrow, their friends will be returning to school, but Brendan and Jacob will not. We made the decision in late October to try homeschooling after the break.

This decision didn’t come as abruptly as it might appear. I considered homeschooling before the boys started Kindergarten, but decided to send them to a regular school for the early years. When our school district was unable to provide them with the education I felt was entitled to them, I once again considered homeschooling, but instead found a charter school that seemed to fit our needs.

We love our charter school. This year, both Rob and I joined the Parent Council as classroom representatives so we could be more involved in the school. I also took a part time job at the school and volunteered there many hours each week. I built relationships with teachers and staff and parents. Ironically, it was my involvement in the school that led me to choose homeschooling.

Building relationships with the kids at school (many of whom have special needs) taught me that I am more capable of teaching kids than I knew. Brendan’s teachers reminded me that it is my responsibility to teach my own kids now, just as it was before they started school. And, I realized that doing my part at home is just not possible when a large part of our day is spent at school.

The more I research, the more reasons I find. And I’ll get around to talking about them eventually. But that’s where it all started—my ability, my responsibility, and my lack of time.

Thank you to everyone who responded* to my last entry with well wishes for my family. It took a little over two weeks for me to get back to a more normal me, though I feel the experience has changed me forever. I don’t mean to sound so dramatic, but I feel like I’ve aged, or that I’ve lost years off my life. I’ve stopped reliving the accident in my head, and I’m not in constant fear for the boys’ safety when they’re away from me. But when I’m alone, there’s still a sort of numbness and somberness hanging over me, but it’s bearable.

I’ve taken a part time job at the boys’ school as the primary caretaker of between 40-65 kids during extended carpool. Surprisingly, the experience has been much different than the experience I’ve had as a substitute teacher. I’m finding relationship building with the kids to be very rewarding. I’ve also joined the Parent Council as a representative for Brendan’s classroom. Rob is a rep for Jacob’s classroom, so that basically means I get to do both. I’ve volunteered to help in the front office after morning carpool as well, in hopes that it will eventually lead to bigger and better things.

The vocational school training was very disappointing and a big waste of my time. I’d still like to get the training, but this particular program in its current form will never be a good fit for me. I’d like to believe that Brendan’s accident had no influence on my decision to withdraw from the program, but I think the timing alone may have been an influence. I was forced to be away from him to work on mindless tasks before I was ready to leave him at all. I thought I was ready to pursue a real career, but for now I’m more than content being a part timer at the boys’ school.

So, yeah. Life goes on.

* Genius that I am, I deleted my previous entry while trying to delete an old draft. I had it cached, and so was able to rewrite it, but the comments all went bye-bye. BUT I did read them, and I THANK YOU ALL (Lilie, Oz, mike, Amber, ker_thwap) for them.

I’m spending a lot of time at the boys’ school lately. Last week, Jacob’s class had their final culminating event. Basically, the parents are invited to the classroom to view the projects the kids have been working on since their last culminating event. Jacob did a research project on the grey wolf. As with all the culminating events, parents are instructed to walk around the room, visit with as many of the *36 students as possible, and leave positive feedback for each student on a yellow Post-It note. (I’ll get to the *36 students in one classroom thing in a minute.) I really hate visiting with other people’s children. I’m bad at it.

Two days later was the Volunteer Appreciation Tea, where all the parents who volunteered this year were treated to desserts made by the teachers and staff, as well as a music concert performed by all the different classrooms. The program was a painful two hours long. The younger kids were adorable, but by the time we got to the middle school band, I was ready to leave. Unfortunately, the program was scheduled so it would end just before school ended, so I was stuck there.

Today, Brendan had his final culminating event. He did his research project on the toad. His room was even more crowded than Jacob’s room. I felt like I was always in someone’s way.

Tomorrow, Jacob’s class is having Career Day. Parents are encouraged to come and share the details of their jobs. Naturally, I signed up for this event, if for no other reason than to validate myself to… myself.

Friday is the boys’ eighth birthday. I will be taking cupcakes, or some similar sugary treat to celebrate. Thankfully, Rob has taken the day off to help out. I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage spending sufficient time with both of the boys. Last year, the boys’ birthday was the day after school ended. No treats! This year, school is ending a week later than other schools due to a late start in September. I figure I’ll need *80+ cupcakes to cover everyone. EIGHTY. That’s a hell of a lot of cupcakes.

I know there are some other events scheduled for next week, but I’m having a hard enough time keeping up with this week right now.

(*My boys attend a charter school. The student to teacher ratio is 18-20 students to 1 teacher. BUT each class has a team of two teachers, and thus, 36-40 students per classroom.)

Tonight, my boys and a friend of theirs were approached by a stranger. The man was a stereotypically creepy guy wearing stereotypically creepy clothes driving a stereotypically creepy car. The three boys were playing in the front yard when this man stopped his car and signaled for the boys to approach him. The boys immediately ran to the house to get me, but by the time I got outside, the car was gone.

I filed a police report, spoke with an officer who was dispatched to our subdivision, and talked to a lot of my neighbors. They all seemed a lot more upset about the whole thing than I was. I had been a little afraid I was overreacting, but then, it seems highly unlikely that a strange man would approach three children with innocent intentions. The “what ifs” didn’t hit me until later. I also wonder if some of the other parents fear that their child would not have reacted the same way my boys did.

My boys are the only children in our area who play outside with a sibling. The other five kids are either an only child or have siblings who are much older or too young to play outside without supervision. All the kids play together, but we have a built-in buddy system that, I feel, makes my children less approachable. Then again, Mr. Creepo approached a group of three tonight.

My kids may not excel at reading or writing, but I’ve always felt pretty confident they would do the right thing if approached by a stranger. I will allow myself a pat on the back for teaching them this one thing well.

Telling your little boy to throw up on the floor of your car instead of his lap because you know how uncomfortable he would be sitting in vomit on the drive home from school.

Stupidity is…

Going to the school to pick up your little boy because he’s throwing up, but never once thinking to grab something to catch the vomit during the drive home from school.

Picture a horse on roller skates. Got it? That’s how I felt last night at the boys’ school roller skating party.

I picked the boys up from school at 4:00, and took them straight to their tae kwon do class which started at 4:45. Class ended at 5:30. Once they changed their clothes, I drove them across the street to the roller skating place for the party which started at 6:00.

At first, I had no intention of skating with them. But then we got inside and I was hit with a wave of nostalgia. This was the very same building where my school had roller skating parties when I was a kid. And nothing had changed!

It didn’t take much coaxing for the boys to convince me to help them skate. And surprisingly, I didn’t hurt myself. In fact, I didn’t even fall, though, there were a few close calls.

At 8:00, the party ended. I packed them up, drove them home, and barely managed to get them fed and into bed by 9:00.

Yesterday left me with two thoughts. First, I don’t know how working mothers manage after school activities for multiple kids. I really don’t. And I don’t know how I am supposed to go back to work when, really, my life revolves around my boys. And I want it that way.

Second? I managed to roller skate for two hours without a trip to the emergency room. And that’s no less impressive than a horse performing the same feat.

Jacob and I just finished our antibiotics for strep throat on Tuesday. Friday, Jacob started a new antibiotic because the strep throat returned (or was never really gone.) Today, I started my new antibiotic. I know I’m contagious, but I’m going to school tomorrow anyway.

I don’t often feel overwhelmed with mommy stuff, but I have a feeling this week is the beginning of things to come. Monday is now Math Pentathlon day at the boys’ school. Tuesday and Wednesday are Tae Kwon Do days. Thursday is piano lesson day. And Fridays are always half days. I should consider myself lucky that my boys are the same age and are involved in the same activities. I don’t know how mothers with children in lots of different activities manage it all.

I enrolled the boys in a charter school today. It’s a school I’ve been considering since we first moved to the area, so it wasn’t a hasty decision. The school impressed me the first time I learned about it, but chose not to enroll the boys for a couple of reasons. One, I wanted to give our school district a chance. Two, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the boys attending a different school than their friends in the neighborhood. Since the first issue hasn’t worked out well for us and since that second issue has held less and less weight as the years go by, it was time to check out the charter school again.

There have been a few changes since I first checked out their program two years ago. One of the most noticable changes is that they’re requiring school uniforms this year. Overall, I’m happy with the rule, though it means I need to go school shopping again. They’ve also added a music and art program, both of which I consider extremely important. Also, they’ve added an academically gifted program, but I want to see my boys truly improve before I consult the program head on a hunch.

Their new school isn’t starting class until September 19th because of, what else? Construction. They’ve added a gymnasium and have expanded the main building as well. The boys don’t go back to school until a full twelve days after I go back. I need to make arrangements for childcare for that time, but I’ll have time to find something all next week.

The boys aren’t happy about going to a new school, but I think that’s because they don’t really understand what going to this new school means just yet. They’re very social, so I have no doubts they’ll fit in right away. They are happy about the school uniforms and the fact that they get three extra weeks of summer vacation than their friends though.

I think this is a good decision right now. In December, I’m going to make a decision whether they will stay at the charter school, or whether I will enroll them elsewhere. They’re on a waiting list for the school district from which I graduated, so the choice may be difficult come December. Hopefully by December, I will stop second guessing myself.

The boys are scheduled to start school on Monday. I say scheduled to start school because our school district started school late last year because of construction, and there is construction going on again this year. I don’t know why it has taken more than three months to fix the parking lot, but that’s another story.

Last year, a new gymnasium was being added to my boys’ elementary school. (I won’t go into my feelings about adding a new gym instead of building new classrooms to get rid of the portables, but I will say I don’t understand the priorities there.) The construction kept the school from opening on time. The postponement of classes was made known to the community, not through a letter to the parents and not through the school itself during the annual open house the week before school. No. It was made known through the local day care centers and, OF COURSE, the local pizza place. Yes, that’s right. The LOCAL PIZZA PLACE.

I complained about the pizza place being used as a source of communication last year when the first day of school was postponed, but I learned from the experience. This year, on the way to the open house to meet the second grade teachers, I drove by the pizza place. Turns out, the pizza place is better at putting up signs about school cancellations than it is at making pizza. Seriously, the pizza there is terrible, but the sign was clear. The open house had been cancelled. Word has it, it was cancelled due to the parking lot construction that has been going on all summer.

Tomorrow, I will call two more school systems in search of something better. I don’t know why these issues should surprise me so much, considering the trouble I’ve been having with my own university.