Last night after baseball practice, I made the boys take a shower. Brendan had no soap, and the nearest bar of soap was in the other bathroom. Fortunately, I happened to have a bottle of liquid soap sitting on the countertop. Does allowing my son to bathe in Dawn dish soap make me a bad mother?

I should start naming my multiple personalities so people know which one is speaking.

Farmer and Mommy were talking about chickens and babies when Scholar interrupted and brought up the notion of going back to school in pursuit of a Master’s degree. Meanwhile, Kerrie stood by silently listening for the loudest voice. Since Farmer and Mommy had been having their discussion for a while, their voices were tiring. Scholar, however, had not spoken in a very long time, and so her voice was strong and easily heard above the others.

As usual, Kerrie (who apparently has no voice of her own) felt herself being persuaded by the loudest voice. The voice of Reason tried to make Kerrie realize that the uncertainty of Rob’s job and the possibility of a move should outweigh not only the voice of Scholar, but also those of Farmer and Mommy. But Mania, disguised as Reason, sided with Scholar and their combined voices drowned out everyone else.

Kerrie felt overwhelmed and decided to wait for an outside voice to come to her rescue.

…to be continued.

I know I shouldn’t compare my kids to other kids, but sometimes, I can’t help it. Usually, when my comparisons lead to me feeling inadequate as a mother, I’m not comparing to a real kid, but the way I imagine other kids to be. We struggle with the boys being extremely picky eaters. Granted, it’s totally my fault they’re so picky, but I keep hoping they’ll outgrow it on their own. So far, it’s not working. But my imagination tells me that other kids must be eating more meats and vegetables at dinner because their parents were smart enough to not offer them any other choices early on.

When my comparisons lead me to feeling superior, it’s because I’m picking out the worst traits in certain kids and patting myself on the back for raising my boys better than that. And really, that’s not a healthy attitude to adopt either. However, please allow me this moment of indulgence to brag just a little.

Yes, my boys are extremely picky eaters. Getting them to eat enough vegetables is a struggle, and getting them to take medication for fever or pain is completely out of the question. But there is an upside to their pickiness. By choice, they drink only water, milk, orange juice, and rarely apple juice or cider. They dislike lunchmeat and nearly every cut of beef. They do not eat things like ketchup, salad dressing, salt, and sour cream. They will only eat whole grain wheat bread. They are very lean and strong for their height. So the pickiness isn’t always a bad thing.

One other thing we work on is their manners. I feel like I’m constantly reminding them to say please and to hold a door for people. But they’re extremely generous and sincere with their thank-yous. Often, the thank-yous are accompanied by huge smiles, big hugs, and a little bit of jumping up and down. They’ve been known to be so distracted by a gift (even something as boring as clothes!) that they’ve forgotton other gifts waiting to be unwrapped. They are a stark contrast to what I experienced at a neighbor boy’s birthday party last week. The kid was downright snotty to his mom about opening his gifts, and I never once saw even a flicker of a smile for any gift he received. Just more proof that I rock for not trying to buy my kids’ love and destroying their happiness in the process.

I’m spending a lot of time at the boys’ school lately. Last week, Jacob’s class had their final culminating event. Basically, the parents are invited to the classroom to view the projects the kids have been working on since their last culminating event. Jacob did a research project on the grey wolf. As with all the culminating events, parents are instructed to walk around the room, visit with as many of the *36 students as possible, and leave positive feedback for each student on a yellow Post-It note. (I’ll get to the *36 students in one classroom thing in a minute.) I really hate visiting with other people’s children. I’m bad at it.

Two days later was the Volunteer Appreciation Tea, where all the parents who volunteered this year were treated to desserts made by the teachers and staff, as well as a music concert performed by all the different classrooms. The program was a painful two hours long. The younger kids were adorable, but by the time we got to the middle school band, I was ready to leave. Unfortunately, the program was scheduled so it would end just before school ended, so I was stuck there.

Today, Brendan had his final culminating event. He did his research project on the toad. His room was even more crowded than Jacob’s room. I felt like I was always in someone’s way.

Tomorrow, Jacob’s class is having Career Day. Parents are encouraged to come and share the details of their jobs. Naturally, I signed up for this event, if for no other reason than to validate myself to… myself.

Friday is the boys’ eighth birthday. I will be taking cupcakes, or some similar sugary treat to celebrate. Thankfully, Rob has taken the day off to help out. I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage spending sufficient time with both of the boys. Last year, the boys’ birthday was the day after school ended. No treats! This year, school is ending a week later than other schools due to a late start in September. I figure I’ll need *80+ cupcakes to cover everyone. EIGHTY. That’s a hell of a lot of cupcakes.

I know there are some other events scheduled for next week, but I’m having a hard enough time keeping up with this week right now.

(*My boys attend a charter school. The student to teacher ratio is 18-20 students to 1 teacher. BUT each class has a team of two teachers, and thus, 36-40 students per classroom.)

I don’t often feel overwhelmed with mommy stuff, but I have a feeling this week is the beginning of things to come. Monday is now Math Pentathlon day at the boys’ school. Tuesday and Wednesday are Tae Kwon Do days. Thursday is piano lesson day. And Fridays are always half days. I should consider myself lucky that my boys are the same age and are involved in the same activities. I don’t know how mothers with children in lots of different activities manage it all.

I enrolled the boys in a charter school today. It’s a school I’ve been considering since we first moved to the area, so it wasn’t a hasty decision. The school impressed me the first time I learned about it, but chose not to enroll the boys for a couple of reasons. One, I wanted to give our school district a chance. Two, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the boys attending a different school than their friends in the neighborhood. Since the first issue hasn’t worked out well for us and since that second issue has held less and less weight as the years go by, it was time to check out the charter school again.

There have been a few changes since I first checked out their program two years ago. One of the most noticable changes is that they’re requiring school uniforms this year. Overall, I’m happy with the rule, though it means I need to go school shopping again. They’ve also added a music and art program, both of which I consider extremely important. Also, they’ve added an academically gifted program, but I want to see my boys truly improve before I consult the program head on a hunch.

Their new school isn’t starting class until September 19th because of, what else? Construction. They’ve added a gymnasium and have expanded the main building as well. The boys don’t go back to school until a full twelve days after I go back. I need to make arrangements for childcare for that time, but I’ll have time to find something all next week.

The boys aren’t happy about going to a new school, but I think that’s because they don’t really understand what going to this new school means just yet. They’re very social, so I have no doubts they’ll fit in right away. They are happy about the school uniforms and the fact that they get three extra weeks of summer vacation than their friends though.

I think this is a good decision right now. In December, I’m going to make a decision whether they will stay at the charter school, or whether I will enroll them elsewhere. They’re on a waiting list for the school district from which I graduated, so the choice may be difficult come December. Hopefully by December, I will stop second guessing myself.

The boys are scheduled to start school on Monday. I say scheduled to start school because our school district started school late last year because of construction, and there is construction going on again this year. I don’t know why it has taken more than three months to fix the parking lot, but that’s another story.

Last year, a new gymnasium was being added to my boys’ elementary school. (I won’t go into my feelings about adding a new gym instead of building new classrooms to get rid of the portables, but I will say I don’t understand the priorities there.) The construction kept the school from opening on time. The postponement of classes was made known to the community, not through a letter to the parents and not through the school itself during the annual open house the week before school. No. It was made known through the local day care centers and, OF COURSE, the local pizza place. Yes, that’s right. The LOCAL PIZZA PLACE.

I complained about the pizza place being used as a source of communication last year when the first day of school was postponed, but I learned from the experience. This year, on the way to the open house to meet the second grade teachers, I drove by the pizza place. Turns out, the pizza place is better at putting up signs about school cancellations than it is at making pizza. Seriously, the pizza there is terrible, but the sign was clear. The open house had been cancelled. Word has it, it was cancelled due to the parking lot construction that has been going on all summer.

Tomorrow, I will call two more school systems in search of something better. I don’t know why these issues should surprise me so much, considering the trouble I’ve been having with my own university.

Yesterday, I got a call from not one, but both first grade teachers. The first was Brendan’s teacher.

“Brendan is not completing his work in a timely fashion.”

Yes, I am well aware of this. In fact, I sent a letter on the first day of class explaining that this very thing was a problem for him in kindergarten. Brendan lacks motivation. Okay, he’s lazy.

“What should we do about it?”

We? How about I sit here and keep my fingers crossed all day long and hope that Brendan finds some motivation during the day? I’ve spoken to him. I even took him out of kindergarten for the last 5 weeks of school to try to find ways to motivate him. I hoped that being in a new environment with a new teacher would snap him out of or into whatever it is he needs to be snapped out of… or into. I can talk and talk, but when he is there, and I am here, there is nothing I can do when it happens.

The solution? Brendan’s teacher is making up some sort of sticker chart to reward him for completing his work. I’m not terribly fond of rewarding this way, but at this point, I’m out of ideas.

The second call came from Jacob’s teacher.

“Jacob has been using inappropriate language in the classroom.”

I had gotten a note home the day before explaining that Jacob had used the word “stupid” and received his first warning for it. I had to sign and return the note. Now I, being the terrible mother that I am, included a note of my own. I asked his teacher to clarify the use of the word. Did he call another person stupid, or did he just use it in front of another person? While I don’t exactly encourage such things, I don’t particularly object to the use of the word in certain situations. And I told her so in my letter.

Well, it turns out that the use of the word “stupid” is not allowed under any circumstances. Okay, fine. But, not only had he used the word “stupid” he also used the words “naked” and “butt” on two different days. Part of me thinks I must truly be the world’s worst mother since a) my kid is using inappropriate language at school daily, and b) I don’t find those words to be terribly offensive. I did try to be a good mom, and I asked Jacob to refrain from using inappropriate language at school from now on.

No notes were sent home today.