I’m having some computer issues this week. It started several weeks ago with my computer shutting off without warning. Since it only happened once, I figured I must have bumped the power cord or something. Last week, it started shutting off again more frequently. Its fan had been running hard, so I blamed it on the heat. On Monday, I couldn’t keep it running for more than a few minutes at a time. I took it to the Apple Store on Tuesday, and they replaced my power supply. When I brought it home that afternoon, it wouldn’t turn on at all. I returned to the Apple Store yesterday, and it worked just fine, but it now had a kind of burn mark on the screen. Now, I’m waiting for that to be replaced. The good news is that Apple rocks, and I’m getting my service and parts free of charge. (I have an extended warranty, but it does not cover accidental damage.) The bad news is that I suspect an electric problem in my house may have caused the damage. Though it’s more of an inconvenience having an electrical issue, it’ll probably end up costing us less money than it would have been to repair the computer.

Rob and I watched the movie “Accepted” last night, and I couldn’t help but notice it had a very unschooling feel to it. One of my favorite scenes is when a former college professor is impersonating the dean of a nonexistant college as he tries to explain his philosophy about our country’s education system to some parents. He explains that kids only go to college for one reason: to get an entry level job paying a good salary. The former professor meant that as a negative thing, but the parents thought it was a worthwhile pursuit. It was the parents perspective that made me understand why so many people don’t understand our approach to homeschooling/unschooling.

My boys don’t read at their “level” yet, but I’m not too concerned. I know they’ll read when they’re ready to read. When the boys were four years old, they got their first real bicycles with training wheels. Our neighbor’s daughter (also four years old) got her bike the same year. The mom had her daughter out on her bike practicing without training wheels every day. Before she turned five, she was zooming around the neighborhood on two wheels. My boys, however, were allowed to learn to ride their bikes when they were ready. It wasn’t until just after their eighth birthday that they decided to ride without the training wheels. Overnight, they were zooming around the neighborhood on two wheels. Today, there is no difference between their skills on a bike and the skills of the girl who learned early.

Many people are hung up on the idea that a good education requires learning a specified list of things within a specified amount of time. We marvel at kids who can name all the state capitals at an early age, and we laugh at adults who can’t name our first President. In eighth grade, I was required to memorize the periodic table. I haven’t once used this information beyond eighth grade. I don’t feel my child’s education should force him to acquire skills that have no use to him beyond becoming a parlor trick or a Jeopardy contestant.

I have very few close friends. Actually, it’s probably more accurate to say I have no close friends. I had a best friend or two in high school, and sometimes I miss having a best friend as an adult. Sure, I have Rob and my sister, but I’m really talking more about a best friend who isn’t family.

A friend of mine has been appearing in a lot of my dreams lately. I think it means I wish we were closer. Even awake, I wish we were closer, though I don’t think we could be best friends. I searched classmates.com for some of my old high school classmates. Nobody ever writes their life bio there, so I went ahead and wrote mine hoping it would encourage some of them to do the same. It ended up being a weird mix of what I like to think is the real me (that is, happy and optimistic), and a hint of this moodiness I’ve been experiencing lately. I don’t really know what to expect, but I’m hoping for some sort of update from someone.

We bought a cow share last night. That means we own part of a cow, and that means we’re entitled to a portion of the milk each week. Raw milk, YUM! I already know one share won’t be enough for us. I’m guessing we’ll end up buying a second, and possibly third share in a couple weeks.

The boys enjoyed the farm experience. I think I might have enjoyed it even more than they did. We bought a dozen eggs while we were there, so it’s “chicken eggs” and “cow milk” for breakfast this morning. (The boys have already learned the difference between “cow milk” and the store bought stuff.) We made a pint of vanilla ice cream last night, and we’ll probably attempt to make a small bit of butter this morning.

So far, my attempts to dispel my current case of the blahs haven’t been working. I’ve always been able to rely on my mood being lifted by things like good weather, being active, eating well, and taking up new projects. Not so this time. I may need to resort to drastic measures (whatever those might be) to get my mood back to its jovial self again. I really think my blah mood is only apparent to others when I make it apparent. I’m not sure even those who know me well would be able to see the inside themselves.

In other news…

I made two loaves of wheat bread last night. They turned out great, though they are a smidge smaller than I would have liked. I underestimated my ability to knead dough for the required 20-30 minutes, so I probably only managed about 15 minutes before I pooped out. I’m aiming for larger, fluffier loaves next time.

I started using some of my crappy pottery. They’re ugly, but most of them function well. It’s a small consolation for not having any portfolio-worthy pieces. I think I’d like to try to make some terra cotta bread pans. There’s something very appealing to me about the idea of baking my own bread in my own bread pans.

This past week has been sort of blah. It started with me being oversensitive about not being taken seriously again. Why is that so often an issue with me? I realize I have a tendency to change my direction or get crazy ideas often, but sometimes it would be nice if people would not roll their eyes and make jokes about my latest pursuit. At least I’m good for a laugh, huh?

Monday was my last day of class. I’m unhappy about the way it ended. All of my stuff is crap. PURE CRAP. I have zero pieces I can use for my portfolio. Then again, I still don’t know whether I’m going to apply to the graduate program without knowing more about the whens and wheres of our eventual relocation, so a portfolio may not be necessary. Still, it would have been nice knowing my $1000 tuition went to something more important than entertaining me for seven weeks.

I’ve lost sight of what my purpose is more than once this week. The things I do and the things I want to do seem pointless. Without a little support or a little success, the “pursuit of happiness” seems futile.

I looked over my goals for 2007, and I’m pretty pleased with how well I’ve kept up with most things. The past few weeks have been scattered with things that have furthered these three ideals.

I purchased a cup this past weekend from a show of clay and glass artists. It probably makes more sense to make my own cups, but I want to collect cups from other potters, and this was my start. It’s a good cup, but flawed. Despite its flaws, I love it. Jacob and I fight over who gets to use the cup. Silly. But because we both prefer this cup to any other cup in our house, I have begun to wonder if I could sell my own pottery despite its flaws. Would someone else love it? I really doubt many people could “love” a cup the way I do. Regardless, I now want to fill my cupboards with handmade cups, and bowls, and plates, and everything else from all different artists.

I brought home a manual lawnmower last night. I’ve been wanting one for a while now, though I can’t really explain why. Rob was reluctant to try it out, but once he got started, he mowed the entire lawn with it easily. It’s so quiet and it doesn’t smell like gas. I like it.

I’ve taken up yet another new hobby. After re-evaluating my formal exercise program last spring, I dropped it with the intent of finding something else. It took a few months, but I found something I like. For now.

My Amazon wishlist has been growing like crazy. The list includes all kinds of books from pottery to keeping a family cow to homeschooling. Do you see a pattern? I can’t quite articulate how they are all related (beyond saying they are all MY interests.) Or maybe “nature, simplicity, and the pursuit of happiness” says it all.

A few weeks ago, my professor gave us her lecture on pitchers. I had asked Rob before the lecture if he had any interest in having a pitcher. He told me he didn’t, so I didn’t pay much attention to the lecture. Last week (weeks after the pitcher assignment), he suggested that his mom would probably really like a pitcher. I made my first attempt yesterday, and learned that I don’t really enjoy the pitcher form. Today, I felt that I could do much better than my first attempt, so I built two more pitchers at home. Unfortunately, I neglected to bring my tools home from the studio last night, so these pitchers still need a lot of refining. I feel they were much more successful than my attempt in the studio last night, but I’ll need to look at them again with fresh eyes to see if any more changes are necessary.

To date, I have:
2 deep bowls (both glazed)
2 flat oval bowls (1 glazed, 1 waiting to be glazed)
2 wavy bowls (1 waiting to be glazed, 1 waiting to be re-glazed)
1 spoon jar (waiting to be glazed)
3 baking dishes (2 waiting for bisque, 1 waiting for me to stop procrastinating and make handles)
4 teapots (2 bisqued, 2 waiting to be bisqued)
3 pitchers (in progress)
bunch o’ crappy mugs (in various stages of crappiness)

We’re home from Cedar Point. Jacob has officially earned the title of Rollercoaster King in our family. He rode just about everything. Brendan was reluctant to ride some of the more intense rides, but his first rollercoaster experience was unpleasant, so his reluctance was not unexpected. I think this was probably the last of rollercoasters for me. I was not feeling very well after the first few, and I actually blacked out while on my last one. I’m such a wimp. Today, I’m still recovering from being tossed around so much.

The weather was very comfortable, but the wind caused some of the taller rides to be shut down intermittently. We had plans to go to the outdoor waterpark on Friday, but because of the severe weather forecast, we chose to spend a few hours at the indoor waterpark instead.

Today is their real birthday. My parents should be here in the next hour for dinner and cake.

And damn if it ain’t true.